Understanding Yourself as a Parent

 

 

There are many healthy ways to raise a child. No one formula fits all. However, there is one thing parents can do that will almost certainly improve their relationships with their children, and that is to focus on themselves. 

 

Just like our children, our life experiences shape who we are. As parents, we often repeat what we know best. Most often what we know best is drawn from our own experiences. 

 

As parents, we need to be aware of our triggers or what ‘pushes our buttons.’ We need to try to separate our own needs and feelings out from the situation with the child in order to respond appropriately. Parents often lack self-awareness. 

 

When we are self-aware, we can: 

 

• Recognize our emotions, which is the first step for regulating our emotions. Indeed, how can we regulate our anxiety, anger or sadness if we are not able to recognize those emotions in ourselves in the first place? 

• Identify our triggers, which helps us better plan how to react next time and make more responsible decisions regarding our behavior and our emotions.

• Empathize with others and take on another person’s perspective, which helps us resolve conflicts and build positive relationships. 

 

When we lack self-awareness, we have a harder time understanding and improving our reactions, thereby undermining our self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making.  

 

 

Coach Benjamin Mizrahi. Educator. Learning Specialist. Family Coach. Father. Husband.   

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